Hitman: Agent 47 Review

I’m trying to think of an offensive joke about this so called video game movie genre that people have been saying but you know what, Why bother? I am just putting more wood into the fire.

Hitman: Agent 47 is (SUPPOSEDLY) based on the popular video game series created by Square Enix. Never played the video game but even if I have not played the games, I just want to be entertained. If anything, A video game movie is supposed to be a way to sell on playing the game. Well Did it? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Well before I say ANYTHING whatsoever about my opinion on the film when I saw the trailers for this, I really thought that it just looked bad just from its tone that it was trying to sell you on. Not only that but they spoil everything in those trailers! Here is another red flag that had my mind boggled was that this is Twentieth Century Fox’s second attempt at a Hitman video game, Written by the same guy from the last Hitman film that Fox did, and they get a director who has nothing on his filmography. I was originally going to pass this movie on and not see it but as a new film critic here on Raging Nerds, I watched it for you guys.

Right now were living in time right now where studios are trying to create new franchises to the point where they will do anything just to make a buck. The only good thing about this whole craze for a franchise is Studios are really trying hard to make a good film. So when the film is good and earns its money back, they can come back and try to make it even better. HELL!! Universal is coming out with a World of Warcraft adaptation right now with Director Duncan Jones, Micheal Fassbender is trying to get an Assassin’s Creed movie out right now. Studios really want to make a successful franchise out of Video games and they will do anything to make it right. Unfortunately Guys, This is a good reason why Video Games should just stay as Video Games right now.

Not only is Hitman: Agent 47 one of the worst video game movies I have ever seen, It is one of the worst blockbusters I think I have ever seen in my entire life! Here is the biggest problem here is that THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS NOT EVEN CENTERED ON AGENT 47!! The movie’s actual main character is a woman who is suppose to be stronger than 47 and the key to knowing where the creator of the agents are. Even if I did not play the video games even an idiot like me can know that the real focus should’ve been on 47. Not on some BORING A– Chick (played by Hannah Ware) which by the way is one-dimensional, Boring as SH-T, and made me not believe one second that this girl is stronger than Agent 47. How is she stronger when all her character is just standing there doing nothing for the most part. FU-K!! SHE GETS MORE SCREEN TIME THEN AGENT 47. THAT IS FU-KING BULLSH-T!!!

Not only that but the film is completely unoriginal. To Character’s motivations, to the twists (OH MY GOD! THE TWISTS! HORRIBLE), To the actual story line. Everything about this film is like watching a copy cat to better blockbusters that you could be watching instead of this piece of garbage. Zachary Quinto as the villain in this, Is absolutely Stupid. His motivation was cliched, He reminded of like a Terminator throw away villain, and ultimately he is just not menacing. That goes to other villains in this. The people who have a big secret corporation who speak in very serious voices and want to build an army of some kind. Seriously, How many times have we seen that in other films!?

And The action…Oh jesus. Aside from like one impressive action sequence where Agent 47 is battling these soldiers on this busy street, the action is choppily edited and even laughable at times. The movie uses very questionable and unnecessary uses of CGI. They use it when cars are crashing, to people getting knocked off something, or when there is a certain person jumping on something. Not only that, it just was not intense. You never feel like you are on edge because for Agent 47 and for Hannah Ware’s character, they are completely unstoppable. Throughout the entire film they barely get a scratch on them.

The only thing that this film has going for it, is its lead for Agent 47: Rupert Friend. I believed 100 percent that he evolved as the character but that can’t save the rest of the film’s problems. The rest of the film just BLOWS!! It’s not fun, Its misleading, Its not original, Its not even worth watching even if you are a fan of this video game series. I did not expect anything and I wish I just should’ve just stayed at home. I bet you that in the next year or so, you will be seeing this film on the FX channel on like on a Sunday afternoon when there is nothing else to watch on TV cause that’s where this film belongs!!

Overall Grade: F

Guys what did you think of Hitman: Agent 47? Are you a fan of the Video game franchise? Comment below and Start the conversation. Thanks for reading this review and I hope to see you soon!



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